I'm Waisting My Time

I've just spent ages trying, unsuccessfully to load images straight from my phone. It's just not working. It's a reasonably standard iconic Sony, but it's sooooo complicated. And if I can't post images from my camera phone reasonably easily or quickly, why blog? This is suppossed to be a relatively concurrent experience of real life isn't it. Bloody not the way I'm going.

Anyhow I've just cooked my 2nd cake this week. My first Hummingbird Cake, yes gluten-free and fat free. Need to amend the recipe, you just can't taste the pineapple, But I do have a photo, and very nice it is too. A project to be invested in.

I'm going to have to consider a new phone, one of those android thingies. Meanwhile, I'm going to have to figure out what's going on with my laptop. Even Avast has suspected there's suspicious activity going on. Sometimes I don't feel I'm being the techno wiz I sometimes feel I am, or am I only able to work with new and shiny toys. Hmm may be some truth in that

I know, I'm never here.....

I know I'm never here, and I'm always threatening to change and start doing stuff. But... things are moving in the right direction. At least I'm here a minimum of once a month now. That's good. More proof things are improving.

I suppose this really is the main issue of living with disease and feeling incapacitated. You don't get to do what you want to do.  I seem to spend all my free active time slowly doing what others do without noticing, cleaning, cooking shopping, putting things away, even grooming. I so wish I could put the clock back to the days when I jumped out of bed, showered, choose different clothes every day and seemed to pluck my eyebrows in a fraction of a second, slap on in 2 mins, spritz of perfume and hey presto, a fashionista for the West End. Now, at times, it's all I can do to sort myself out for the local supermarket. This isn't living a life. I promise myself, will be chic again. I tend to keep my promises.

Meanwhile, my search for the tools to inject new creativity, motivation and passion into my life have manifested a new toy. A Knitting Machine. I can't wait until it's delivered. I've always loved unusual knitwear. Large structural pieces. Edgy uncompromising designs with architectural forms. Well now I can make some of my own.

I contacted a lovely woman today who co-ordinates a knitters guild group in my local area. Some bitter sweet news. The woman who used to co-ordinate the group who professionally demonstrated knitting machines, is now seriously ill and will not return. The group, with no main knitter to hand, are now looking at the other crafts they do. At present handbag making. Well I'm still going to join. Loads of avid machine knitters and other crafters to hand, I'm sure to meet interesting and helpful people. You never know, I might be able to offer something about painting and drawing? So my life is expanding in a way I wanted it to. Meanwhile, I now have a really good reason to crack on with the cleaning. To make a new home for my machine knitting. So while I can't stand long enough to paint, I can sit to machine knit.  What a wonderful thing to do during the summer and autumn to make warm and beautiful winter wear. Now Bijoux,  I know Chanel lauded the 'little black dress' but, you have move away from your 'Greek Widow' wardrobe. At lease inject some dark autumnal toned knitwear.

Meanwhile I'm happy and optimistic. I'm still following the laws of attraction and truly grateful for every particle of good fortune and spirit I experience each day and I'm gifted with more and more. The quality of my life is good and getting better. I just have to be able to do more. And I will!

What a dull month...

I can't figure out where the sun has gone!

This time last year I had a fantastic suntan, sitting out on the balcony sunbathing while I read 8 of the 9 books by Henning Mankel. The Wallander books as featured on BBC4. I could hardly walk so getting a suntan seemed the best thing to do at the time and I thoroughly enjoyed myself doing it. It was only later on in the year it was discovered I had rheumatoid arthritis.

Last Spring was glorious.This year it's ... alright. But I do have a set of books waiting by the balcony. The Stieg Larsson triology, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Can't wait. Better still, I was lent them by a friend I thought I had lost. We had a big falling out, actually caused by misunderstandings created by my failing health. So I'm really glad to be lent these books as a sign we are back in the pink again. That lunch we had was really good. No animosity, we just listened to each other and were both equally glad to put it behind us. Ah friends, what would we do without them.

So while I've been waiting for the heat of Summer, I have been dealing with the admin of my life. The biggest headache really is debt management. I sorted out a lot 4 years ago when I started a debt management plan but this month after re-assessments of my disability benefits, I can now afford to apply for an IVA which will see me debt free in 5 years instead of 17. I feel really pleased with myself for managing as well as I have. Of course it would be better if I hadn't got into this mess in the first place, but I did. Now I'm responsibly sorting it out without becoming a bankrupt. Everyone's happy. So I'm waiting for the paperwork to arrive and then I can start counting the months. 60. At my age they will fly by. The even better news is that getting a car with my disability benefits looks even closer. Once the IVA is up and running my DLA will be reassessed and if all goes as predicted by benefit advisers, I'll have a new car by the autumn.

But meanwhile, I want hot sun, and lots of it!