Monday, 6 June 2011

I know, I'm never here.....

I know I'm never here, and I'm always threatening to change and start doing stuff. But... things are moving in the right direction. At least I'm here a minimum of once a month now. That's good. More proof things are improving.

I suppose this really is the main issue of living with disease and feeling incapacitated. You don't get to do what you want to do.  I seem to spend all my free active time slowly doing what others do without noticing, cleaning, cooking shopping, putting things away, even grooming. I so wish I could put the clock back to the days when I jumped out of bed, showered, choose different clothes every day and seemed to pluck my eyebrows in a fraction of a second, slap on in 2 mins, spritz of perfume and hey presto, a fashionista for the West End. Now, at times, it's all I can do to sort myself out for the local supermarket. This isn't living a life. I promise myself, will be chic again. I tend to keep my promises.

Meanwhile, my search for the tools to inject new creativity, motivation and passion into my life have manifested a new toy. A Knitting Machine. I can't wait until it's delivered. I've always loved unusual knitwear. Large structural pieces. Edgy uncompromising designs with architectural forms. Well now I can make some of my own.

I contacted a lovely woman today who co-ordinates a knitters guild group in my local area. Some bitter sweet news. The woman who used to co-ordinate the group who professionally demonstrated knitting machines, is now seriously ill and will not return. The group, with no main knitter to hand, are now looking at the other crafts they do. At present handbag making. Well I'm still going to join. Loads of avid machine knitters and other crafters to hand, I'm sure to meet interesting and helpful people. You never know, I might be able to offer something about painting and drawing? So my life is expanding in a way I wanted it to. Meanwhile, I now have a really good reason to crack on with the cleaning. To make a new home for my machine knitting. So while I can't stand long enough to paint, I can sit to machine knit.  What a wonderful thing to do during the summer and autumn to make warm and beautiful winter wear. Now Bijoux,  I know Chanel lauded the 'little black dress' but, you have move away from your 'Greek Widow' wardrobe. At lease inject some dark autumnal toned knitwear.

Meanwhile I'm happy and optimistic. I'm still following the laws of attraction and truly grateful for every particle of good fortune and spirit I experience each day and I'm gifted with more and more. The quality of my life is good and getting better. I just have to be able to do more. And I will!

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